Half the man...

On my best day I am half the man my father is. I cannot spell out it any simpler than that. The older I get, the more aware I become of this fact. We share many character traits my dad and I...a penchant for the drink, gambling, sarcasm, loyalty, intelligence and insanity. However, it is impossible for me to tell you how many times in my life someone has asked me " oh your last name is Boulay, is Ed Boulay your dad?". Now my dad and I are extremely close and have joked that we should always ask why someone wants to know if we know the other before we answer....but without exception when asked, I hold my head high, pump my chest out, and respond "yes he is my father" the response is always "he is a great guy".

Filled with pride I always reply "yea, he is" and anticipate that the conversation will end there. It never does though, instead it typically continues with the inquisitor insisting on buying me a drink, which makes me think two things:
1. Thanks dad for managing to buy me a drink when you're not even here
2. Umm dad how many f-n drinks have you bought people in your lifetime that this total stranger is insisting on buying me one? Not that I mind...just wondering...

Success can be defined many ways or measured by millions of different metrics. Life is arbitrary like that. One man’s failure is another’s success, and vice versa. Monetary success, to me, is the least important of them all. I have always believed that money does NOT change people, no matter what the mass media may have us believe. In my opinion, it just underscores or exaggerates who that person already was. A scumbag with millions is just a bigger, more notorious scumbag, you need look no further than the NBA/NFL to see that (Shawn Kemp, Ben Roethlisberger, Antonio Cromartie, Chris Henry--he gone). And a billionaire philanthropist in all likelihood was always a charitable giving person, upon achieving success they just had more to donate. Is it any wonder that the two richest men in the world have decided to donate their fortunes to various charities rather than leave it all to their families?

Now my dad is no multi millionaire who donates bundles of money to charities across the globe, but don't be mistaken he is generous and philanthropic beyond measure. Generosity with money comes easy to him. Throughout his life he always, ALWAYS, told me money meant nothing. That if he had it, and a friend needed it, then it was his duty to help them out and not ask questions. Without exception he has walked the talk. He has lived humbly and helped many people out when needed. But his generosity goes so far beyond that, that it is really difficult to comprehend and impossible to quantify.

A more generous man there has never been. He donates his time to those around him far beyond whatever is asked of him. Growing up this often manifested itself as him coaching every single team me and my two brothers played on. He never put work ahead of any of us, and in all of our years he never missed a game. We never wanted for anything as kids, except maybe a little bigger house. Let's be honest...that place was bedlam growing up. I would like to believe we put the fun in dysfunctional, but mainly we just put our parents patience to the test. As we grew older our parents footed the bill so that we graduated whatever college we wanted to go to with zero debt. Something I for one did not deserve, if for no other reason than I am convinced I had the highest cost per class attended of anyone who has ever walked the face of this earth. As we grow older our parents spoil their grand kids, making an annual Disney trip almost a given at this point. My father also donates huge chunks of his time to a friend who suffered a stroke years back. Taking him everywhere, just trying his best to be a good friend. I can’t say I have seen many, if any, people go to the lengths he does.

It would be remiss of me not to mention my mom as well. As they say, behind every great man is a great woman. My mom stands behind 3 great men, my father and two brothers. Admittedly I don’t have as much in common with her as I do my dad, but to say she is a saint is a bit understated. A woman who has spent 40+ years with my father, and raised 4 kids (3 boys only 5 years apart and major pains in the ass) shows she is a woman of infinite patience, something I both admire and lack. They have always provided me support without judgment, love without condition, and have been bedrocks of stability for their kids. And I can say this authoritatively…knowing their kids that was not easy!


Tragically today I am attending a funeral of a very close friend whose father passed away. I feel so empty and helpless bc I know nothing I say can assuage his anguish. However, what I can do is remind all of you who feel the way I do about their fathers to tell them before it is too late. Furthermore, I can let the world know how lucky I am to have the father/mother I do. I am proud to be able to call Ed Boulay my friend, prouder still to be able to call him my father bc there are only four people on this planet so privileged.