Then we will fight them in the shade

Why are we so afraid of failure? We hide it from our friends and family, often times only disclosing it in an alcohol induced text message as if that were an appropriate way to break bad news. And why? Is it because we honestly our friends will think less of us when they find out we failed or that something in our life went bad? Your marriage fell apart through no fault of your own, and you're afraid to tell people bc you think what? That we will think less of you? That your true friends will get some amount of schadenfreude out of it? You lost your job but keep it to yourself nc you think anyone who truly loves you will measures your quality by your employment status? Truth be told, success is over rated; failure is far more valuable, even though is it infinitely more painful. I've learned more about myself and life in general through abject failure and dark times than I ever did through success. Life's biggest failures are out biggest learning opportunities.

 

I am reminded of King Leonidas' now famous reply upon hearing that Xerxes army would launch so many arrows that it would block out the sun...."then we will fight them in the shade", he said, and while I think I would have made a great Spartan, I can't help but recognize the fact that most of the important battles we all go through in life take place in the shade; by that I mean out of the sight of most people. Life isn't always sunshine , rainbows and bacon. It rains, and sometimes it absolutely fucking pours. I've been down, I've been out, I've had my head and my heart kicked around and I tell you like this: False friends are like our shadow, keeping close to us while we walk in the sunshine, but leaving us when we cross into the shade. However, in the shade is the only place we can find, not only ourselves, but the ones who truly love us. The ones who not only don't mindmkwhen you text them at 4:30AM, but actually reply; the ones who reach out a hand after you've been knocked down, even, and especially, when it surprises them to see you on the ground.

 

One can only measure their value as a friend/parent/spouse etc in the tough times. Anyone can punch the clock when things are great, but when you, or a loved one, is battered and broken....that's when you learn the most about people, including yourself. By and large success is useless. It is nice and appeals to those who waste their lives chasing the accolades of pride, but failure is far more valuable. You learn more when you miss a lift, than you make it.....you learn more from missing the target than hitting it.....you only learn how to stand up after you've been knocked down and as Confucius said our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we fall.

 

I fell down, down , down into this dark and lonely hole, and there was no one there to care about me anymore. I needed a way, to climb a grab ahold, at the edge you were sitting there holding a rope.