On the hood under the moonlight

Staring up at the moon from the soft sands of the beach I cannot help but wonder. My mind wanders , starting out peaceful and in tune with the waves blissfully washing against the shore. Soon enough it picks up speed, shifts gears and accelerates at a frightening pace. I lay there trying to make sense of it all.

Life sucks. It's complicated. And dirty. And messy. It doesn't fit in a box. No matter how hard we try. We try, so hard, to cram everything about life into some box w four perfect walls expecting it to fit in there; nice and neat and perfect. But it doesn't. It fucking doesn't. Life blows out those four walls off the box.... if you're lucky it blows them apart atomically, like Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Bc life is messy and love is messier. Nothing, absolutely nothing , worth having can fit within any four walls ever constructed by man. It sucks and it's hard. So much harder than we think. But that's bc it's beautiful, and when right, infinitely beautiful. And only something so infinitely beautiful can drive you infinitely insane.

Getting to know someone on a personal & intimate level frightens most of us, especially allowing them to see our naked souls. Discovering their imperfections, and them discovering ours. I actually love that bc that's what makes a person unique. The imperfections that others hide from the rest of the world .... it's like a little window only you get to see. It's beautiful and I get that it scares people to show that part of themselves for fear of rejection and being vulnerable but the truth is if it's the right person you are anything but vulnerable bc they'd never hurt you. Those imperfections are not imperfections at all honestly , rather they are the finger prints of our soul and our hearts. Letting someone in is to give them a key to a view that is dizzyingly beautiful.

As CS Lewis said the mold in which a key is made would be a strange thing, if you had never seen a key: and the key itself a strange thing if you had never seen a lock. Your soul has a curious shape because it is a hollow made to fit a particular swelling in the infinite contours of the divine substance. Love is that. Embracing another's imperfections and seeing them rather as strengths and beauty and feeling privileged to see that which others don't , is like being a key made for that lock. And that can only be achieved when we are willing to bare our souls to another. It's scary and terrifying but it is also impossibly beautiful. To find the key made for our lock in the infinite contours of the divine substance is to stand beside the ocean and not feel small. If you wanna you can find me on the hood under the moonlight bc I believe there's still some magic somewhere inside our souls.