On my best day I am half the man my father is. I cannot spell out it any simpler than that. The older I get, the more aware I become of this fact. We share many character traits my dad and I...a penchant for the drink, gambling, sarcasm, loyalty, intelligence and insanity. However, it is impossible for me to tell you how many times in my life someone has asked me " oh your last name is Boulay, is Ed Boulay your dad?". Now my dad and I are extremely close and have joked that we should always ask why someone wants to know if we know the other before we answer....but without exception when asked, I hold my head high, pump my chest out, and respond "yes he is my father" the response is always "he is a great guy".
Filled with pride I always reply "yea, he is" and anticipate that the conversation will end there. It never does though, instead it typically continues with the inquisitor insisting on buying me a drink, which makes me think two things:
1. Thanks dad for managing to buy me a drink when you're not even here
2. Umm dad how many f-n drinks have you bought people in your lifetime that this total stranger is insisting on buying me one? Not that I mind...just wondering...
Success can be defined many ways or measured by millions of different metrics. Life is arbitrary like that. One man’s failure is another’s success, and vice versa. Monetary success, to me, is the least important of them all. I have always believed that money does NOT change people, no matter what the mass media may have us believe. In my opinion, it just underscores or exaggerates who that person already was. A scumbag with millions is just a bigger, more notorious scumbag, you need look no further than the NBA/NFL to see that (Shawn Kemp, Ben Roethlisberger, Antonio Cromartie, Chris Henry--he gone). And a billionaire philanthropist in all likelihood was always a charitable giving person, upon achieving success they just had more to donate. Is it any wonder that the two richest men in the world have decided to donate their fortunes to various charities rather than leave it all to their families?
Now my dad is no multi millionaire who donates bundles of money to charities across the globe, but don't be mistaken he is generous and philanthropic beyond measure. Generosity with money comes easy to him. Throughout his life he always, ALWAYS, told me money meant nothing. That if he had it, and a friend needed it, then it was his duty to help them out and not ask questions. Without exception he has walked the talk. He has lived humbly and helped many people out when needed. But his generosity goes so far beyond that, that it is really difficult to comprehend and impossible to quantify.
A more generous man there has never been. He donates his time to those around him far beyond whatever is asked of him. Growing up this often manifested itself as him coaching every single team me and my two brothers played on. He never put work ahead of any of us, and in all of our years he never missed a game. We never wanted for anything as kids, except maybe a little bigger house. Let's be honest...that place was bedlam growing up. I would like to believe we put the fun in dysfunctional, but mainly we just put our parents patience to the test. As we grew older our parents footed the bill so that we graduated whatever college we wanted to go to with zero debt. Something I for one did not deserve, if for no other reason than I am convinced I had the highest cost per class attended of anyone who has ever walked the face of this earth. As we grow older our parents spoil their grand kids, making an annual Disney trip almost a given at this point. My father also donates huge chunks of his time to a friend who suffered a stroke years back. Taking him everywhere, just trying his best to be a good friend. I can’t say I have seen many, if any, people go to the lengths he does.
It would be remiss of me not to mention my mom as well. As they say, behind every great man is a great woman. My mom stands behind 3 great men, my father and two brothers. Admittedly I don’t have as much in common with her as I do my dad, but to say she is a saint is a bit understated. A woman who has spent 40+ years with my father, and raised 4 kids (3 boys only 5 years apart and major pains in the ass) shows she is a woman of infinite patience, something I both admire and lack. They have always provided me support without judgment, love without condition, and have been bedrocks of stability for their kids. And I can say this authoritatively…knowing their kids that was not easy!
Tragically today I am attending a funeral of a very close friend whose father passed away. I feel so empty and helpless bc I know nothing I say can assuage his anguish. However, what I can do is remind all of you who feel the way I do about their fathers to tell them before it is too late. Furthermore, I can let the world know how lucky I am to have the father/mother I do. I am proud to be able to call Ed Boulay my friend, prouder still to be able to call him my father bc there are only four people on this planet so privileged.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
I have been on a hiatus the last few months, life gets in the way all too often, and by life I mean Budweiser, cookies and sandwiches. I promised myself that I would write more in 2011, and it did not take long to find a reason why. The federal government can always be counted on for many things, taxes, irresponsible spending/decision making, wide stances in public bathrooms and activist judges who in the past have ruled that our pledge of allegiance is unconstitutional. Today a 3 judge panel ruled that a cross in a cemetery in San Diego is unconstitutional. What is even more frightening is that they ruled 3-0, meaning not one of the three judges had enough common sense, or guts, to say that we have taken political correctness too far. Maybe I shouldn't be shouldn’t be so surprised given the ruling came out of California, a state who currently has a worse credit rating than Kazakhstan. Borat has better credit than the state of California. FACT. So clearly we should entrust national decision making to such a responsible people. After all, if they had their way they would also allow Borat to vote even though he is not a citizen of this country. I make this point bc it is clearly delineated in the constitution that you must be a citizen to vote but many counties (i.e. San Francisco) in California allow, and even encourage, illegal aliens to vote in local elections and have gone as far as saying illegal aliens should be allowed to vote in statewide and national elections. I think maybe they need a dictionary and this entire controversy could have been avoided. It seems very reminiscent of an incident involving Dr Nick Riviera when he blows up his office because he didn’t understand the definition of the world inflammable and yells "inflammable means flammable? Ugh what a country!" I can make no other conclusion than California is being governed and judiciated by thousands of Dr Nick Riviera's....you mean unconstitutional does not mean constitutional? What a country!
The reality is that the cross existed long before Jesus. Is it a symbol often associated with Christianity? Sure. But for starters that’s a pretty damn big group, Catholics, Protestants, Anglicans, Lutherans, Evangelicals, Baptists, Adventists, etc etc. But the cross itself stands for much more than that, and is no more unconstitutional than the phrase "In God We Trust" on all of our currency and a recent Gallup poll showed 90% of Americans supported leaving that saying on there(the 10% who disagreed were 'vacationing' at Guantanamo).
Personally I have divorced the Catholic Church (I like using that word since the Church itself would not allow divorces for so long....it's like the Seinfeld when George preemptively breaks up with the blonde who is about to leave him. They get back together, then at the end of the episode she leaves him and emphatically says NOW I AM LEAVING YOU!...that’s how I feel with the church....I digress). I cannot and will not support a group whose leadership acted the way it did during the whole sex abuse scandal. Cardinal Law, and now the Pope, having knowledge of the problem(s) and standing idly by are irreconcilable for me. Furthermore, I do not believe in original sin, never could, and as such will never have a desire to have any children of mine baptized, not that I judge those who do, I am simply saying I would not. I could go on and on, but my point is I divorced the church but still find the cross to mean something much more than just a symbol of Christianity. Over time the cross has come to be, in my mind anyway, the ultimate symbol of sacrifice; the very embodiment of the word regardless of religious beliefs.
When used to adorn a cemetery or a grave the cross symbolizes the sacrifice that was made by those who are interned there. Much like Jesus died for his beliefs (whether you believe he was the messiah or not there is no debate that Jesus existed and was crucified), the soldiers in those cemeteries laid the ultimate sacrifice upon the altar of freedom for us. They died so that we may live freely. They died because they believed this country and its ideals were worth dying for. When called upon to serve, they did not waiver, they did not question, rather they made “uncommon valor a common virtue”. And now, rather than let them rest in peace as the heroes they are, we choose to bicker about whether or not the cross is constitutional. COME ON!
Those men and women sacrificed their lives protecting the very constitution that these moon bats are now trying to use to remove a symbol of the sacrifice they made. What’s next? Do we remove the stand alone crosses in Arlington National Cemetery? According to the judges who ruled the cross unconstitutional at Mount Soledad we would have to. I am as big an advocate of the first amendment as anyone, but let's be clear about what the first amendment says...it says "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;". Tell me where the violation is. The cross at the cemetery neither prohibits the free exercise of any religion, nor does it represent a law respecting the establishment of a national religion. It symbolizes a sacrifice made by honorable men and women who we are now dishonoring. The Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit has taken common sense and made it an uncommon virtue.
The reality is that the cross existed long before Jesus. Is it a symbol often associated with Christianity? Sure. But for starters that’s a pretty damn big group, Catholics, Protestants, Anglicans, Lutherans, Evangelicals, Baptists, Adventists, etc etc. But the cross itself stands for much more than that, and is no more unconstitutional than the phrase "In God We Trust" on all of our currency and a recent Gallup poll showed 90% of Americans supported leaving that saying on there(the 10% who disagreed were 'vacationing' at Guantanamo).
Personally I have divorced the Catholic Church (I like using that word since the Church itself would not allow divorces for so long....it's like the Seinfeld when George preemptively breaks up with the blonde who is about to leave him. They get back together, then at the end of the episode she leaves him and emphatically says NOW I AM LEAVING YOU!...that’s how I feel with the church....I digress). I cannot and will not support a group whose leadership acted the way it did during the whole sex abuse scandal. Cardinal Law, and now the Pope, having knowledge of the problem(s) and standing idly by are irreconcilable for me. Furthermore, I do not believe in original sin, never could, and as such will never have a desire to have any children of mine baptized, not that I judge those who do, I am simply saying I would not. I could go on and on, but my point is I divorced the church but still find the cross to mean something much more than just a symbol of Christianity. Over time the cross has come to be, in my mind anyway, the ultimate symbol of sacrifice; the very embodiment of the word regardless of religious beliefs.
When used to adorn a cemetery or a grave the cross symbolizes the sacrifice that was made by those who are interned there. Much like Jesus died for his beliefs (whether you believe he was the messiah or not there is no debate that Jesus existed and was crucified), the soldiers in those cemeteries laid the ultimate sacrifice upon the altar of freedom for us. They died so that we may live freely. They died because they believed this country and its ideals were worth dying for. When called upon to serve, they did not waiver, they did not question, rather they made “uncommon valor a common virtue”. And now, rather than let them rest in peace as the heroes they are, we choose to bicker about whether or not the cross is constitutional. COME ON!
Those men and women sacrificed their lives protecting the very constitution that these moon bats are now trying to use to remove a symbol of the sacrifice they made. What’s next? Do we remove the stand alone crosses in Arlington National Cemetery? According to the judges who ruled the cross unconstitutional at Mount Soledad we would have to. I am as big an advocate of the first amendment as anyone, but let's be clear about what the first amendment says...it says "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;". Tell me where the violation is. The cross at the cemetery neither prohibits the free exercise of any religion, nor does it represent a law respecting the establishment of a national religion. It symbolizes a sacrifice made by honorable men and women who we are now dishonoring. The Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit has taken common sense and made it an uncommon virtue.
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