A really good person I know wrote me the other day seeking my advice about starting a blog. I was blown away. I legitimately couldn't think why anyone would ask me this. Please believe this isn't some fucking bullshit attempt at humility ....that's not me.
I know what I'm good at and (regrettably) admit that I'll be the first to tell you I can out bench or strict press you while kicking your ass at jeopardy. But my blog, my writing (please believe) was never meant for the edification of me. No fucking way. Have you proofread the bullshit I post? I make e e cummings look like a grammar nazi.
I've always loved to write and have written many things the blog has never, and will never, see. Some have been lost to computer failure; some I think are shit; others I think would cause my family to have me put in a padded room (beats a cell right?); and the rest are out there , posted for all to read, thanks mainly to Beth Boulay who used to have to read my diatribes via email and once said "when are you going to write for the world? It's beautiful but beyond that it's real and people would read it." Only then did I even consider posting the white noise that is my brain chatter. So thank (or blame) Beth.
Speaking of beautiful people have you met my sisters-in-laws? And that's how my mind works. It "works"...... but not at all. It makes connections out of things that don't exist. It chooses to remember anything I ever read but forget where the fuck my keys or wallet are at any given moment.
Alex Trebek: our final jeopardy category is World Geography
Me: I got this. I wager the US national debt
Alex: answer. Where is your wallet right now?
Me: oh fuck ? Idk the bar? Why is he asking me this? I mean wtf this douchebag doesn't even know that Ulan Bator is the capital of Mongolia or that Genghis Khan was so prodigious that some genealogists believe that 1/200 men are descendants of him. Speaking of which, as a descendant of ghensgis khan why don't I just go bury this stencil in his neck
Alex: times up. Let's see what you wrote.....Craig... why would Genghis khan have your wallet?!
Me: because fuck you Alex
Ugh. And welcome to the cluster fuck that is my brain. I literally had to interrupt it there bc I was going even more tangential than I could tolerate.
So my friend asked me how to start a blog, and I guess my advice to him, or anyone, is no different than I would offer someone on how to live life (given the first question would be why the hell are you asking me?):
Have no filter. Be who you are. Don't run from it. I could find a million imperfect "yous" anywhere, but I can find only one perfect "you". Our soul is a voice we too often mute. That's inexcusable. After all I've been through in life I've learned many people will run from you; you cannot be one of them.
BOOMSAUCE
