Hello darkness my old friend. I’ve come to talk with you
again. In these restless dreams I walk alone, cause I’ve drawn regret from the
truth of a thousand lies. You know Moon, there was a time I felt that if I
stretched out my hands, I was convinced I could conjure angels, yeah, I was
pretty sure I was bulletproof. Ya
know, living would be easy if we never had to bleed. Life has left me blindly
here to stand and still not sleeping. My weariness amazes me, I’m leveled on my
feet and have no one to meet cause the lights in this town, they don’t brighten
up anything. I know there is someone out there feeling just like I feel and I
know they’re waiting up, I know they’re waiting to heal. We've been holding our
breath for too many years to count. It feels like we’ve waited for sirens that
never come, and now I only write by the moon to try and ease the loss and all
these nights I’ve missed you. These pages plead forgiveness.
In the cold night the Moon reminded me “Craig, broken
crayons still color but these mountains you’re carrying, you were only supposed
to climb.”.
"But what can I keep to myself, if I tell you my hell?
What would be left to take to my grave?" I asked, continuing "Do you
want me to tell you how some thief stole my heart while she was making up her
mind? Moon, I swear my love was an arsonist; her eyes deep set in avarice. Red
lips like a tomb I could never get out of. I saw tail lights last night in a
dream about my first wife; everybody leaves and I’d expect this much from you.
I had a dream about my whole life, and everybody leaves, so why, why wouldn’t
you? There’s a hole in me now, like the windshield was taken out. I know
everybody is hurt, and mine ain’t the worst, but it’s mine and I am feeling it
now. I am trying to learn to live with it until I am free from this shadow that
hangs….surely you wonder sometimes? Surely you can sympathize? I met a girl
with a taste for the world but I could never get her to believe.
“The music goes on Craig, it's simply that when you’re happy
you enjoy the music but when you’re crushed you understand the lyrics.” the
moon explained.
How much time do you think that we have? If I wanted to I
could start over again, let the good night decide who she wants me to find. You
know every night I would race the moon and fall for her; even with her heart
under lock & key I’d walk back up those steps, with no regrets, just for a
chance to breathe that fire again. Tonight, as I look up at the moon I know
that somewhere she is looking at it too and as long as we are under the same
moon…..we’re never that far apart.
“Craig, have you ever watched the sun set? I mean
really watched it? Isn’t that proof that endings can be beautiful too?”
The moon said.
In the last hours before the sunrise, I’m not sure if I
passed out or closed my eyes but I woke into a dream where I know I knew
you. I used to die, every night, in your honor, like a self-conscious
ritual, but tonight this ends. I’m forgiving what I’ve done. So, if you're
gonna break my heart…it might as well be tonight, and if I never see you again,
have a round on me love....nobody wins.
