In the middle of the darkest nights
Always knew that I would find you here
In a puddle of the bravest tears
There are times I feel as if I am having an out of body experience…..I am looking at myself, and singing those words to myself. We need to have a talk. Me, you, this whole fucking country needs to talk. It’s en vogue to say our health care system is broken, and it is, but where we fail most miserably is treating mental illness. No one is ashamed to say they have cancer, we drop buckets of water on our head to raise awareness for ALS, but yet we only speak of mental illness while whispering in the corners of rooms, usually before or after a person who is suffering from it enters or exits. “Oh here comes ______, I heard he/she is really struggling/crazy”.
How are things up in that ivory tower? When I find a spare minute I am going to turn it in to an ivory tombstone.
You hear all the time how selfish suicide is. It is taking the easy way out. It’s an act of cowardice. It leaves behind too many victims. Wtf. I mean seriously what the fucking fuck? If someone dies of cancer, is that selfish? No? how about if they smoked? Or how about if the contracted AIDs from unprotected sex? Is it selfish then? because I could reasonably argue they brought that on themselves, certainly brought it on themselves a hell of a lot more than someone suffering from depression, bipolar, PTSD etc. So why is suicide the only one that is “selfish”? Do you think anyone suffering from PTSD, depression, bipolar, etc is more or less likely to get help after a lifetime of hearing shit like that. Wake the fuck up. More often than not suicide is the tragic and untimely death of someone who lost their battle with an illness. For the love of god we cannot move forward until people see it that way.
Mental illness is just that, an illness. It needs to be treated, not stigmatized. No one asks for it. No one contracts it because they smoked cigarettes or chewed tobacco. No one got it because they got drunk in a bar , went home with someone, had sex, and didn’t use a condom. But ohhhh hold the presses, if a friend of ours contracted AIDs that way we would be full of compassion, sympathy and holding fundraisers to alleviate their tremendous out of pocket costs because their insurance provider probably doesn’t cover STD’s or has some provision in their policy that says they only cover STD’s contracted while you were sober , cuddling with a nun, in an igloo. ( I WAS IN THE POOL!!!!! )
All that is great. We should feel compassion, sympathy and help those in need. ALL of those in need. We cannot discount those whose needs and struggles we may not fully understand. Every 13 minutes someone commits suicide. Lucky number 13. Thirteen minutes from right now someone is not taking the easy way out and you can go fuck yourself if you believe that. We fear and mock that which we do not understand. We further isolate those who are suffering, only making matters 100000x worse. Being told to “toughen up” or “just get past it” only worsens the problem. It is akin to throwing gasoline on a fire in an effort to put it out because it makes the person who is struggling feel only weaker, more alone, less understood and more judged. Nothing matters but the pain when you’re alone; it is omniscient.
Thankfully , at least for me, despite the overwhelming odds tomorrow came. Not everyone is that lucky. Thirteen minutes from now someone else won’t be. Instead of judging and calling them weak try reaching out a hand.
